As enjoyable or stress-free as a pals’ journey may sound, touring collectively has a humorous manner of testing your endurance—and albeit, exposing each little crack within the relationship.

In concept, packing your baggage and venturing someplace new must be the proper alternative to strengthen your bond with new inside jokes and recollections. However even for those who take pleasure in somebody’s firm for just a few hours every weekend, an prolonged getaway with that very same particular person might simply translate into catastrophe for just a few causes, Kimberly Horn, EdD, MSW, psychologist and creator of Buddies Matter, for Life: Harnessing the 8 Tenets of Dynamic Friendship, tells SELF. For one, “journey disrupts our common routines, and we’re restricted in our private house,” which may amplify these “little quirks” (continual lateness, nonstop cellphone use, incessant nagging) you didn’t thoughts earlier than. To not point out, what begins as a brand new, thrilling setting can shortly flip right into a stress cooker due to that nonstop togetherness, which may trigger unstated tensions to bubble into full-blown resentment.

With out the correct precautions, you may wind up needing a trip from your trip (and from the oldsters who joined you) by the point it’s over—defeating the very objective of your journey. What usually separates an expertise full of unforgettable recollections from a White Lotus meltdown, nevertheless, comes down to 1 factor, consultants say: setting the correct expectations throughout and all through your tour. That manner, you don’t return dwelling with fewer pals than you began with.

1. Work out your “journey fashion” early on.

Everybody has their very own manner of touring. Some individuals thrive on jam-packed schedules full of museums, excursions, and nonstop actions. Others see trip as a uncommon likelihood to loosen up and do nothing. Based on Pleasure Harden Bradford, PhD, licensed psychologist and creator of Sisterhood Heals: The Transformative Energy of Therapeutic in Neighborhood, discussing these expectations earlier than you board the aircraft is vital for avoiding rigidity, resentment, and disappointment.

So just a few issues to ask your self (and your friends) embrace: Do you like clubbing and exploring nightlife, or maintaining it extra low-key and healthful? Are you the sort to get up at dawn with a busy day forward of you or to wander with out a plan? And,in case your kinds differ considerably, would you be down to fulfill within the center…or do your individual issues individually?

After which there’s funds, as a result of nothing derails a pals’ journey sooner than mismatched monetary habits. Regardless of the subject (lodging, dinner spots, guided excursions, or spa days, as an example), “these conversations must occur on the entrance finish,” Dr. Bradford says, particularly if anybody has sturdy preferences round the place to remain or what to do. “Some individuals simply need a spot to retailer their stuff. Different individuals are like, ‘I’m not doing something under 4 stars.’”

2. Decide one “must-do” exercise every.

A bunch journey seemingly gained’t embrace all the pieces everybody needs, however that’s okay—so long as you’ve got a bit of compromise. “Have each particular person identify one factor they actually need to do,” Dr. Horn suggests, like a particular museum, a scenic climbing path, or one evening of clubbing till 3 a.m. This fashion, you all get at the very least one expertise you have been wanting ahead to—and, worst case, those that aren’t have a built-in alternative for some alone time, which brings us to our subsequent tip.

3. Don’t be afraid to set micro boundaries.

Getting much-needed house is near-impossible while you’re cramped in a tiny resort room or doing each exercise collectively…which is why Dr. Horn is all for setting “micro boundaries.”